Boss, Manager or Leader? Why Owning Your Leadership Matters More Than Your Title
When I worked in schools, I never once heard the word boss.
In Scottish education, we have senior teachers, principal teachers, faculty heads, depute headteachers, and headteachers. You might occasionally use the term line manager, but even that was rare. Titles mattered less than relationships – you were there to lead your family of staff and pupils, not command them.
Leadership wasn’t about power – it was about presence.
It was something you did, not something you called yourself. That’s the heart of owning your leadership – showing up in how you act, not just the title you hold.
But when I stepped outside of education and into more corporate spaces, I started to hear a new word: boss. And with it came an entirely different energy. One that didn’t sit well with me.
It made me question: what does it really mean to lead? And how do our words – boss, manager, leader – reflect how we own our leadership?
The Word Boss – Loaded or Legit?
Let’s be honest, the word boss carries baggage.
For some, it sparks ideas of authority and control.
For others, it triggers memories of being micromanaged or talked down to.
It can feel harsh, hierarchical… even a bit outdated.
That’s why it never quite felt right in my world. In schools, we led through care, clarity, and connection – not command and control.
Then I read Radical Candor by Kim Scott, it challenged me.
She doesn’t reject the word boss – she reclaims it. In her view, if people report to you, you are their boss – but she also says it’s your responsibility to be a good one.
That means:
Caring personally, while challenging directly
Creating a safe culture for open dialogue
Supporting growth and accountability
So maybe the word itself isn’t the problem. It’s what we do with it.
Manager: The Organiser
In corporate settings, manager is often a formal title. Managers set goals, delegate, oversee performance. It's a job description.
And yes, managers are vital – they keep the engine running. But when “management” becomes only about productivity and process, people can feel like cogs in a system.
In schools, we managed lots of things – behaviour, budgets, parent relationships – but we didn’t lead through metrics. We led through meaning.
If you want to truly own your leadership, management has to be more than maintaining – it has to mean something to the people you’re managing.
Leader: The One Who Owns It
Now leader – that’s the term I connect with most.
Because leadership is an action.
You do leadership in how you show up in the corridor, how you speak in a meeting, how you support someone through a tough day. It’s not reserved for people with fancy titles – it belongs to anyone willing to step up with courage and care.
Owning your leadership means recognising that your words, behaviour, and presence matter – even when no one is watching.
It’s not always comfortable. But it’s always powerful.
And in my coaching, I see this truth land again and again – especially with new and aspiring leaders who are trying to figure out who they are and how they want to lead.
So, What Should You Call Yourself?
If the word boss feels wrong – that’s okay.
You don’t have to use it.
You can lead without being bossy. You can manage without becoming robotic. You can choose language that aligns with the kind of leader you want to be.
Some alternatives I love:
People Lead
Team Lead
Mentor-Manager
Culture Shaper
Or simply… Leader
But here’s the real truth: it’s not the title that defines you – it’s your choices.
Leadership is about how you show up, how you communicate, how you build trust.
It’s what you do every day.
And when you make conscious decisions about how you behave and how you speak, you're already owning your leadership. I talk about the specifics of leadership in my blog: ‘Leadershipping’ is the Art of Leading with Confidence and Compassion.
Owning Your Leadership Means Leading With Intention
Whether you’re new to leading or have been in a formal role for years, the question isn’t “Am I a boss, a manager, or a leader?” It’s:
Am I owning my leadership – today, with this team, in this moment?
Because that’s where real leadership lives – in the small choices, the tough conversations, the clarity you bring, and the care you show.
At Own Your Leadership, I help you define and live your leadership style in a way that works for you. Whether you’re leading a classroom, a project, or a whole organisation, it’s not about being bossy or polished. It’s about being intentional, real, and ready to grow.
Want to own your leadership with confidence?
Let’s chat.
Book your free call with me here, and let’s connect.
