I’m Not Sure I Want to Be a Leader Anymore

In recent months, a theme has been emerging in my coaching conversations. Alongside the usual challenges of managing teams, navigating pressure, and finding confidence, I’ve had several leaders share something more personal: “I’m not sure I want to be a leader anymore.”

It’s a thought many people keep quietly to themselves. After all, leadership is often framed as the ultimate goal, you know, the badge of honour we should all be striving to achieve. To even question whether you want it anymore can feel like you’re breaking some unspoken rule. Yet this reflection is not a weakness.

It’s an act of strength, self-awareness, and honesty.

It’s true self-leadership.

Leadership as a Season, Not a Life Sentence

We sometimes treat leadership as a one-way street; once you’re on it, you should keep climbing. But leadership is not a fixed identity. It’s a role you step into, and just as life changes, so too can the roles that fit you best. Often, we end up as leaders really not through choice, but through a sense of obligation. That’s certainly my story – you don’t want to let people down, your managers expect you to rise up and be accountable, and before you know it, you find yourself not feeling so great about the role or position.

There are many reasons why a leader might start to re-evaluate:

·      Your values may no longer align with the culture or direction of the organisation. This is an important one, and something I will write about in the future, as behaviours do change as people climb the ladder (watch out for a future blog on that one!).

·      The role may demand more than you’re willing, or able, to give at this stage of life (life with small children, challenging teenagers or elderly parents all take a toll on our ability to do our jobs well).

·      Perhaps you’re yearning for a different challenge or a return to the aspects of your work you loved before you became a leader (I often missed having young people around me when I moved into a central team managing new teachers).

·      Sometimes, you simply outgrow the role, and what once excited you no longer does.

None of these are signs of failure. They are signals of growth, and they deserve attention.

Many high-profile leaders have spoken openly about the emotional reasons behind stepping away. As Business Insider reports, some leave out of “emotional fatigue… the absence of [their] original team,” while others acknowledge that the initial spark just isn’t there anymore. It’s a reminder that questioning your leadership isn’t about quitting, instead, it’s about honouring what truly fuels you.

I’m Not Sure I Want to Be a Leader Anymore: What Next?

So often, leaders keep pushing forward because that’s what’s expected of them. Yet the most powerful thing you can do is pause and ask yourself some honest questions, because there’s nothing worse than feeling stuck in a job or role that no longer serves your needs:

·      What do I want my work to give me now?

·      Am I thriving in this role, or just surviving?

·      What impact do I want to have, and is leadership still the way to create it?

Sometimes, this reflection leads to renewal — rediscovering the joy in leadership and leading with fresh clarity. Other times, it leads to a decision to move on, either to a different kind of leadership role or into something entirely new. Both outcomes are valuable. Both are valid.

Coaching for the Crossroads

This is where coaching has such a vital role to play. My work isn’t just about helping leaders communicate better or manage more effectively (though that’s important). It’s also about creating a space where leaders can safely explore the bigger questions:

·      Do I want to keep leading, or is it time to leave?

·      If I choose to leave, how do I do that with integrity, without burning out or burning bridges?

·      How do I reframe my next step so it feels like progress and not like stepping backwards?

And I want to say this clearly: I will never judge a leader for choosing to leave.

That’s because this has been my story too.

There was a time in my own career when I faced that same crossroads. I had to ask myself the hard questions, listen to my own needs, and make a brave choice that took me in a different direction. It wasn’t easy, but it was the right decision. And because I’ve been there, I know how important it is to have someone alongside you who understands and supports you without judgement.

Leadership Is Choice

If you’re questioning whether you still want to lead, you’re not alone.

It doesn’t mean you’re giving up.

It means you’re listening to yourself.

And that is a powerful form of leadership.

Sometimes the bravest choice is to keep going. Other times, the bravest choice is to leave. What matters most is that it’s your choice.

If you’d like to explore these questions in a safe, supportive space, you can reach out and connect with me.

And if you’re looking to re-engage with your mission, rediscover your spark, and reset your energy, I invite you to try the Summer Reset (super helpful, regardless of the season). It’s designed to help you step back, recharge, and return to your role with clarity and focus.

Just remember, if you feel that you are no longer aligned, you’ve got a niggle you just can’t put your finger on, then reach out for coaching, to experience a safe space to explore your feelings further, and to help you take appropriate actions that is right for you.